Dumbing Down the Parents
When you're a parent you become an idiot. It's not our fault. It's the television shows we watch. I used to watch the news. Now I watch Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers.
I want to buy a car, determined to give the salesman a run for his money. I had forgotten: I'm an idiot. I walked up to him and said, "The car is nice. The look is handsome. But the price you ask is a king's ransom. There is no need for me to stay. I will not buy this car today."
Wait a minute, I thought. I just became Dr. Seuss for a second! The salesman was obviously a parent because he said, "Would you? Could you? On a dare, buy this car with factory air? If I throw in a music box, would you buy this Audi Fox?"
I said, "I would not, could not on a dare, I do not want your factory air. I would not buy it in the rain. I would not buy it on a train. Not in a house. Not in a mouse. Not in a goat. Not in a moat. I don't care if it runs on green eggs & ham, I will not buy it Sam I Am!
Originally published November 14, 2002.
