Political Correctness for Kids

Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps".

You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome".

No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced".

You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective".

You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal".

It's not called gossip anymore. It's "transmission of near-factual information".

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful.
It's "digestively challenged"

Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience".

You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness".

You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor retentive athletic footwear".

You weren't passing notes in class.
You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations".