The Voice of a Child
After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up. "That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?" "Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen. A heavy snowstorm closed to schools in one town. When the children returned to school a few days later, on grade school teacher asked her students whether they had used the time away from school constructively. "I sure did, teacher," one little girl replied. "I just prayed for more snow."
Three small boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boasted that his dad owned a farm. The second said his dad owned a factory. The third boy, a pastors son, replied: "That's nothin'. My dad owns hell." "No way," another boy scoffed. "How can a man own hell?" "Sure he can," the preacher's son said. "My mom told my grandma that the elders of our church gave it to him last night."
On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small town and pointing to it, told the children that it was St. Francis' Church. "It must be a franchise," her eight year old son said. "We've got one of those in our town too." Bouncing out of her first day in nursery school at Mount Moriah Presbyterian Church in Port Henry, New York, a 3 year old girl gleefully informed her mother: "We had juice and Billy Graham crackers!"
Rev. David A. Stammerjohn, pastor of Laboratory Presbyterian Church, Washington, Pennsylvania, spent a week at the Synod school with his two children. The school's theme focused on Moses and the Exodus. When they returned home, his 5 year old daughter excitedly greeted her mother: "Guess what, Mommy. We made unleaded bread!"
A mother overheard her little girl praying:"Now I lay me down to rest. I pray I pass tomorrow's test. If I should die before I wake, That's one less test I'll have to take."
A little boy went to dine with his parents at the home of an elderly gentleman. After watching the old man bow his head and speak in a soft voice, the boy asked his mother: "What did Mr. Bryan say to his plate?"
A Jewish boy in grade school was listening to his Hebrew teacher quoting Scripture. "The Lord our God is One," the teacher declared. "When will He be two?" the youngster asked.
Jr. associate editor Rose Samra was putting her 4 yr. old son Luke to bed when he exclaimed: "I'm exhausted!" "Exhausted?" she said. "Who says that?" "John Michael." replied Luke, who had been listening to a cassette by Christian singer John Michael Talbot. "You know the song that said, 'Be exhausted, O God, among the heavens."
After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented: "The choir was awful this morning." The father commented: "The sermon was too long." Their 7 yr. old daughter added: "You've got to admit it was a pretty good show for a dime."
Little John was bothered with a question that he had to ask his Sunday school teacher. "Miss Darvis, are there any animals in heaven?" "I'm not sure, Johnny," answered the teacher. "The Bible doesn't tell us of any animals in heaven." "Oh, there's got to be animals in heaven." insisted Johnny. "What makes you think so?" said the teacher. "Well, everytime there's a thunderstorm, my father says it's raining cats and dogs."
Benjamin Leese, fifteen, who teaches Sunday school class for the 3rd graders at Trinity Lutheran Church, Pennsylvania, asked his students: "What is a prophet?" One young boy quickly replied, "When someone makes a good investment."
Originally published November 14, 2002.
