- Ultimatums don't work.
- Bribes work.
- Hysteria will get you nowhere.
- Their first summer at camp is murder.
- Let them lick the spoon.
- Learn lots of lullabies.
- Breast feeding in public goes over better in Europe.
- Learn to handle sleep deprivation.
- Have an answer ready for "Where do babies come from?"
- Don't flinch when they grow taller than you.
- Going to college don't mean they won't come back.
- Don't teach them to parallel park.
- Be consistent.
- Think quick.
- Improvise.
- Sympathize.
- Remember: It's just a phase.
- "Wait till your father gets home" is a cop-out.
- "Because I said so" is a good reason.
- Never tell them how much they'll inherit.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
