Buzz Words

Danbom: Is being a cliche expert a full-time job?
Lingua: Bottom line is I have a full plate 24/7.

Danbom: Is it hard to keep up with the seemingly endless supply of cliches that spew from business?
Lingua: Some days, I don't have the bandwidth. It's like drinking from a fire hydrant.

Danbom: So it's difficult?
Lingua: Harder than nailing Jell-O to the wall.

Danbom: Where do most cliches come from?
Lingua: Stakeholders push the envelope until it's outside the box.

Danbom: How do you track them once they've been coined?
Lingua: It's like herding cats.

Danbom: Can you predict whether a phrase is going to become a cliche?
Lingua: Yes. I skate to where the puck's going to be. Because if you aren't the lead dog, you're not providing a customer-centric proactive solution.

Danbom: Give us a new buzzword that we'll be hearing ad nauseam.
Lingua: "Enronitis" could be a next-generation player.

Danbom: Do people understand your role as a cliche expert?
Lingua: No, they can't get their arms around that. But they aren't incented to.

Danbom: How do people know you're a cliche expert?
Lingua: I walk the walk and talk the talk.

Danbom: Did incomprehensibility come naturally to you?
Lingua: I wasn't wired that way, but it became mission-critical as I strategically focused on my go-forward plan.

Danbom: What did you do to develop this talent?
Lingua: It's not rocket science. It's not brain surgery. When you drill down to the granular level, it's just basic blocking and tackling.

Danbom: How do you know if you're successful in your work?
Lingua: At the end of the day, it's all about robust, world-class language solutions.

Danbom: How do you stay ahead of others in the buzzword industry?
Lingua: Net-net, my value proposition is based on maximizing synergies and being first to market with a leveraged, value-added deliverable. That's the opportunity space on a level playing field.

Danbom: Does everyone in business eventually devolve into the sort of mindless drivel you spout?
Lingua: If you walk like a duck and talk like a duck, you're a duck. They all drink the Kool-Aid.

Danbom: Do you read "Dilbert" in the newspaper?
Lingua: My knowledge base is deselective of fiber media.

Danbom: Does that mean "no"?
Lingua: Negative.

Danbom: DOES THAT MEAN "NO"?
Lingua: Let's take your issues offline.

Danbom: NO, WE ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE MY "ISSUES" OFFLINE.
Lingua: You have a result-driven mind-set that isn't a strategic fit with my game plan.

Danbom: I WANT TO PUSH YOUR FACE IN.
Lingua: Your call is very important to me.

Danbom: How can you live with yourself?
Lingua: I eat my own dog food. My vision is to monetize scalable supply chains.

Danbom: When are you going to quit this?
Lingua: I may eventually exit the business to pursue other career opportunities.