Fracturing the Dictionary
Fracturing the Dictionary Arbitrator (ar'-bi-tray-ter): A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable (uh-voy'-duh-buhl): What a bullfighter tries to do. Baloney (buh-lo'-nee): Where some hemlines fall. Bernadette (burn'-a-det): The act of torching a mortgage. Burglarize (bur'-gler-ize): What a crook sees with. Control (kon-trol'): A short, ugly inmate. Counterfeiters (kown-ter-fit-ers): Workers who put together kitchen cabinets. Eclipse (i-klips'): what an English barber does for a living. Eyedropper (i'-drop-ur): a clumsy ophthalmologist. Heroes (hee'-rhos): what a guy in a boat does. Left Bank (left' bangk'): what the robber did when his bag was full of loot. Misty (mis'-tee): How golfers create divots. Paradox (par'-uh-doks): two physicians. Parasites (par'-uh-sites): what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Pharmacist (farm'-uh-sist): a helper on the farm. Polarize (po'-lur-ize): what penguins see with. Primate (pri'-mat): removing your spouse from in front of the TV. Relief (ree-leef'): what trees do in the spring. Rubberneck (rub'-er-nek): what you do to relax your wife Seamstress (seem'-stres): describes 250 pounds in a size six dress. Selfish (sel'-fish): what the owner of a seafood store does. Subdued (sub-dood'): the kind of, like, cool boat that, like, runs underwater, man. Sudafed (sood'-a-fed): brought litigation against a government official. Joke submitted by: Mr. Robert O. Vincent
Redway, CA
Originally published November 14, 2002.
