Gene-splicing
It seems that gene-splicing has become a reality. Now all those old jokes about crossing a parrot with a centipede are within the realm of possibility. Here are a few examples:
Cross an Indian monkey with a vine of the legume family and a plant with yellow cup-shaped flowers will give you Rhesus Peanut Buttercup.
Cross a Sasquatch and a baboon. It's a Sassoon that lurks in the suburbs at night, catches unwary women and styles their hair.
Cross an armadillo with a hammerhead shark and keep your fridge smelling fresh. It's an Arm & Hammerhead shark.
Cross a sheep dog and a baby of the carp family will get you a Shag-carpette.
An Impossabull is what you get when you make a three-way cross between an impala, a possum and a bull. It's a 2,000 lb. antelope that hangs from trees and drops down on unsuspecting matadors.
Cross a rabbit with an amoeba gives you an Amoebit. It can multiply and divide at the same time.
Cross a racehorse with a hog and you get a Thoroughpig.
Cross a sheep with a porcupine and you get a Sheepupine. It not only supplies you with wool but will also knit you a sweater.
A combination of a lamprey eel and a baboon created at a famous American college gives you the Harvard Lampoon.
Originally published July 03, 2005.
