Politically Correct Terms for Students
*The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged." *No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired." *You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed. " *These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined." *Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive." *Your homework isn't missing, it's just having an "out-of- notebook experience." *You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness." *You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear." *You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations." *You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."
Originally published November 14, 2002.
