Language Humor

Product Information

Jan 01, 1900
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Product Information

The following are actual instructions found on the named items:

ON HAIRDRYER INSTRUCTIONS: Do not use while sleeping.

ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap.

ON A FROZEN DINNER: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: Fits one head.

ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: Product will be hot after heating

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: Do not Iron clothes on body

ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE: Do not drive car or operate machinery

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): Warning: may cause drowsiness

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: Warning keep out of children

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: For indoor or outdoor use only.

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: Not to be used for the other use

ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: Warning: contains nuts

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Originally published November 14, 2002.

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