Lawyer Shot Joke Collection

You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

It was so cold last winter.
How cold was it?
I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets

What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving?
Skeet

The Lawyer's Creed:
A man is innocent until proven broke.

What's the worst part about seeing 5 lawyers in Cadillac go over a cliff?
A Cadillac seats six

Sadam Housain and a lawyer are buried neck deep in sand, who do you kick in the teeth first??
Housain, Business before pleasure

Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.

What's the difference between a female attorney and a pit bull?
Lipstick

What's black and brown and looks good on an attorney?
A Doberman

What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
Not enough cement.

What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can't understand.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a tick?
A tick drops off you when you die.

What do lawyers and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth.

What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?
Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong sewer.