Lines to Get Out of Jury Duty
Published Jan 01, 1900

I can tell if people are guilty just by looking at them.
If a police officer told me I was a bug, I'd believe him
I think laws are for sissies.
Would I have to bathe?
Can each of my personalities vote in the deliberation?
My religion specifically prohibits me from sitting near other people.
I get dizzy if I try to weigh evidence.
Originally published November 14, 2002.