There Really Are 'Dumb' Questions!
Q: "She had three children, right?" Q: " You say the stairs went down to the basement?" Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?" Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?" Q: "Can you describe the individual?" Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?" Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?" Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?" Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?" Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?" Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
A: "I went to Europe, Sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"
A: "No, this how I dress when I go to work."
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
A: "Oral."
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."
A: "I have been since early childhood."
Originally published November 14, 2002.
