What Do You Call a Lawyer . . .
A: Your honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
A: Senator.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 36 feet deep?
A: Because down deep, they are all nice guys!
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Q: Have you heard about the lawyers word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Q: Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps?
A: Because people could not tell which side to spit on.
Originally published July 09, 2003.
