You Know You Need A New Lawyer when ...
Published Jan 01, 1900
1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
2. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
3. During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
4. He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.
5. He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."
6. Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
7. The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."
8. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."
9. He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."
Originally published November 14, 2002.
