- During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
- When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each other.
- During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
- He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.
- Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
- The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."
- Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."
Originally published November 14, 2002.
