A Little Diet Fun
Published Nov 02, 2005
I try to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
My figure does nothing for me, so why should I do anything for it?
Diet is 'die' with a T.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and fat are really good friends.
Every time I think about exercise, I lie down until the thought goes away.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
I am not fat! I am big boned.
Mama taught me to clean my plate; she didn't teach me not to pile it high.
I'm thinking of all the starving children in China, like Mama said.
Forget health foods. I need all the preservatives I can get.
Originally published November 03, 2005.
