Medical Record Entries?

The following are, supposedly, actual medical records taken from patients' actual medical charts.
* The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
* The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
* I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
* The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
* She is numb from her toes down.
* While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
* The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
* Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
* Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
* Patient was alert and unresponsive.
* When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Originally published January 12, 2005.