You Might Be A Nurse if …
You have the bladder capacity of 5 people.
You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance.
You believe that "ask a nurse" is an evil plot.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase "wow, it's really quiet" is uttered.
You mutter, "great veins" when being introduced to a stranger.
Your most common assessment question is, "What changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks months, years)?
You have been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider radiation a form of birth control.
You have ever had a patient say, "But I'm not pregnant; I can't be pregnant, how can I be having a baby?"
You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered some food.
The hems in your scrub pants are held in with steristrips.
You refer to motorcyclists as "organ donors."
You are the only one at the dinner table NOT allowed to talk about your day at work.
You've ever had a patient with a nose-ring tell you, "I'm afraid of shots."
You believe that the sight of a full moon can ruin a perfectly good day.
You've ever sworn you are going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
