You might be a nurse if...
Published Nov 13, 2002
~ You avoid unhealthy looking peoples in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
~ It doesn't bother you to eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other hand.
~ You've had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."
~ You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
~ You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.
~ You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.
~ You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.
~ You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.
~ You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
