You Might be A Nurse If
Published Sep 16, 2003
** You avoid unhealthy looking peoples in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
** It doesn't bother you to eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other hand.
** You've had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."
** You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
** You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.
** You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.
** You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.
** You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.
** You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.
Originally published September 17, 2003.
