Credit Card Blues
This would be funny if it was a joke, but it probably is true.
CANCEL YOUR CREDIT CARD BEFORE DYING
Motto: Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.........
This is just so priceless....and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is....
My Aunt died this past January. Her Bank billed her for February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge...the balance had been $0.00... now was somewhere around $60.00
I placed the following phone call to The Bank:
Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
The Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections..."
The Bank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."
Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
The Bank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau...maybe both!"
Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
The Bank: "excuse me?"
Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you.... the part about her being dead?"
The Bank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!"
(Supervisor gets on the phone)
Me: ''I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
The Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
The Bank: "... (stammer)" .... "Are you her lawyer?"
Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given... )
The Bank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Me: "Sure." ( Fax number is given )
(After they get the fax)
The Bank: "Our system just isn't setup for death..."
Me: "Oh..."
The Bank: "I don't know what more I can do to help..."
Me: "Well... if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her...I suppose...don't really think she will care...."
The Bank: "Well...the late fees and charges do still apply."
Me: "'Would you like her new billing address?"
The Bank: "That might help."
Me: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery (address and plot number given. )
The Bank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?!"
Originally published May 14, 2004.
