Puns for everyone...
Energizer Bunny arrested:
charged with battery.
A man's home is his castle:
in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist's blood type is:
always b-negative.
My wife really likes to make pottery:
but to me it's just kiln time.
Dijon vu:
the same mustard as before.
I fired my masseuse today:
She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A Freudian slip:
is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding:
A case of wife or death.
I used to work in a blanket factory:
but it folded.
I used to be a lumberjack:
but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
If electricity comes from electrons:
does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Marriage is:
the mourning after the knot before.
A hangover is:
the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making:
headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism:
a peeping tome.
Sea captains:
don't like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov:
ring a bell?
A successful diet is:
the triumph of mind over platter.
Time flies like an arrow:
Fruit flies like a banana.
A gossip is:
someone with a great sense of rumor.
Without geometry:
life is pointless.
When you dream in color:
it's a pigment of your imagination.
Reading whilst sunbathing:
makes you well-red.
When two egotists meet:
it's an I for an I.
Originally published June 28, 2004.
