Real Sign From Around the World
Plumber: “We repair what your husband Fixed.” Pizza shop slogan: “7 days without pizza makes one Weak.” Door of a plastic surgeon's office: “Hello, can we pick your nose?” At a Towing Company: “We don't charge an arm and a leg. We wants tows.” Billboard on the side of the road: “Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.” On an Electrician's truck: “Let us remove your shorts.” In a Non-smoking Area: “If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.” On Maternity Room Door: “Push, Push, Push.” At an Optometrist's Office “If you don't see what you're looking for you've come to the right place.” On a Butcher's window: “Let me meat your needs.” On a fence: “Salesman Welcome, Dog food is expensive.” At a car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.” Outside a Muffler Shop: “No appointment Necessary, we hear you coming.” Outside a Hotel: “Help! We need inn-experienced people.” On a desk in a reception room: “We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.” In a Veterinarian's waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!” At the Electric Company: “We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be.” On the door of a Computer Store: “Out for a quick byte.” In a Restaurant window: “Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up.” Inside a Bowling Alley: “Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop.” In the front yard of a funeral home: “Drive carefully, we'll wait.” In a counsellor's office: “Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.”
Originally published November 14, 2002.
