You Need A New Car When
Published Dec 16, 2004
You need a new car when . . .
You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind you.
You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.
You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get accused of stealing.
The Blue Book lists your car under "Health Risk."
The only thing holding your bumper on is the "Dukakis/Bentsen '88" sticker.
You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.
Evel Kenievel refuses a free lift.
The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before parking your car.
Originally published December 17, 2004.
