Mobile Phones Linked to Public Assaults

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands… 1 Thessalonians 4:11
I don't know if cell phones give you brain tumors or not, but they sure do make you stupid.
I was walking down the street in New York City talking on my cell phone, telling my wife about the fantastic energy this city emits when I felt my right front pocket and exclaimed, "I can't find my cell phone." I franticly searched my other pockets all the while explaining to my wife that I was afraid I had lost my cell phone. She calmly asked, "Honey, how do you think we're communicating right now?"
Oh, good point.
I've never been much for telepathic thought so I don't know why I thought this particular day was any different.
It just goes to show you how much a part of our being cell phones have become.
A new Swedish study suggests that people who use a mobile phone for at least 10 years might increase their risk of developing a common condition known as "broke", as in --- I ain't got no money for this month's phone bill.
How many times have you called a friend's cell phone only to hear, "this number is temporarily out of service." The lady robot-voice might as well say, "Your friend is temporarily broke and until he pays his bill he ain't talking to nobody."
Scientists are now considering the question of whether or not cell phones are hazardous to our health. I've found it depends on how hard you throw them at someone. You get whacked in the head with a cell phone and it can leave a good-sized knot.
However, your chances of getting hit in the head with a cell phone from close range drop drastically if you're not talking on it in a public place and annoying other people.
I run into this at airports all the time. Some guy in a suit pacing the terminal waiting area, "Yeah, I'm really important. Yes, yes, I am important. That's why I'm talking so loudly. You think I'd talk this loud if I wasn't important? Not at all, It's because I'm an important man working on an important deal. Well, I won't shout if from the house tops, but I will yell it into a small phonic device."
The wireless industry has always maintained that there is no link between mobile phones and strangers hitting you in the face.
If you're worried about the risks of cell phone usage, it is recommended that you use a hands-free set. This way you can fight back when you're assaulted for annoying people.
Plus, with your hands free you can search for the missing cell phone you happen to be talking on.
Thor Ramsey is the host of the T.V. comedy show, Bananas.
Watch it free online!
Originally published October 27, 2010.