Assorteed 1 Liners for Sunday 6/2/2002
Traffic sign in Florida mobile-home park: GO SLOW ... GRANDPARENTS AT PLAY Sales clerk to customer: Woman huddled under blanket on deserted, wind-swept beach to husband: Man is the only animal that goes to sleep when he's not sleepy and gets up when he is. --Dave Gneiser A good answer is what you think of later. --Sam Ewing The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application. --Ken Kraft No one appreciates the value of constructive criticism more thoroughly than the one who's giving it. --Hal Chadwick My wife and I have structured conversations: My home church welcomes all denominations, but really prefers tens and twenties. I'm weird, but around here it's barely noticeable. The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Sure," she replied, "but not the same ones." Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government. I accept good advice gracefully -- as long as it doesn't interfere with what I intended to do in the first place. Thesaurus: ancient reptile with excellent vocabulary. There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in action. --Goethe(Kinda reminds me of the Senate during the billy clinton impeachment trials.) If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one? Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. Puritanism: If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. If things get better with age, I'm approaching magnificent! You're so open-minded, your brains fell out I have an open mind -- it's just closed for repairs. At least dogs do what you tell them to do. I've gotta be me -- everyone else was already taken. Do not meddle in the place of dragons ... Dear Jesus, Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies. We occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry on as if nothing happened.
"These stretch pants come with a warranty of one year or 500,000 calories... whichever comes first."
"Tell me again how much money we're saving with this off-season deal."
firstly, she gives me her opinion, then she gives me my opinion.
The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be having a good time.
Cats take a message and get back to you.
you are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
Please help Mommy and Daddy. Take care of Brother and Me. And please God, take care of yourself cause if anything happens to you we are in big trouble. Amen --- Author Unknown
Originally published November 14, 2002.
