Dim-Witted Q&A's about Contemporary Life

My son saw this bumper sticker: "I like feminists; I think they're cute."
I'm worried about our school librarian. People say she's a "bookie."
My doctor sent me a bill with a note that said it was one year old. So I returned it with a note that said, "Happy Birthday."
Even though my dog died when he fell into a vat of shellac, at least he had a good finish.
So many ignorant people, so few meteors.
A rhyme for pedestrian safety: Bill looked, Joe didn't, Bill is, Joe isn't.
My husband puts me on a pedestal, but he says sometimes I climb up there all by myself.
Originally published November 14, 2002.