Even More One Liners
2. I used up all my sick days. Now I'm having to call in dead.
3. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have any film!
4. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
5. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
6. Back up my hard drive? I can't find the reverse switch!
7. Sorry I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
8. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
9. You have the right to remain silent. But anything you say will be
misquoted and used against you.
10. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
11. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
12. Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
13. Blessed are the censors, for they shall inhibit the Earth.
14. A day without sunshine is like....night.
15. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
16. I let my mind wander and it didn't come back
. 17. I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere!
18. Eagles may fly, but weasels don't get sucked into jets.
19. Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
20. Madness takes its toll. Please have the exact change.
21. Proof read carefully to see if you lift any words out.
22. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
23. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
24. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
25. I don't have a solution but I do admire the problem.
26. Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out.
27. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look so astonished!
28. Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your way.
29. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
30. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
31. Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
32. Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
33. Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
34. Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
35. What has four legs and one arm? A happy pit bull terrier
Originally published November 14, 2002.
