More Light Bulb Quips
Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.
Q: How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One-third less than for a regular bulb.
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a suprising twist at the end.
Q: How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One.
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent
beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.
Q: How many Orthodox Rabbis does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Change?
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!
Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It turned itself in.
Q: How many gorrilas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a truckload of light bulbs!
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three: One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven: One to install the new bulb, and six to figure what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
Q: How many college football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
Q: How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None.... There never *was* any light bulb, don't you remember?
Originally published April 15, 2004.
