"Of Underwear and Life" Timeless Wisdom
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.
"Sumpter ubi sub ubi!" ("Always wear underwear!")
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
Even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
It's always darkest before dawn. (So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.)
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
To cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
Good quality underwear is worth the extra cost.
Don't want to loose something? Put it in your underwear drawer.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
The early worm gets eaten!
Originally published November 14, 2002.
