One Liners
Anything free is worth what you pay for it
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
COLE'S LAW: Thinly sliced cabbage
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Editing is a rewording activity
Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure
My reality check just bounced
Rap is to music, what Etch-a-Sketch is to art
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery
No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway
Boycott shampoo... Demand REAL poo!
IRS - Be audit you can be
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
If you think the grass is greener on the other side, dig up a chunk and turn it over to see.
If anything was worth doing, I would have already done it.
Never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
Why in America do we have a general in charge of the post office, and a secretary in charge of defense.
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go to the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
They say that love makes the world go around, but then so does a good swallow of tobacco juice.
Sign seen on a plastic surgeon's window: "Come in and pick your nose!"
You know you are a college student when you collect Taco Bell sauce to use as "salsa" on your chips and frozen burritos.
Notice on a conference-room door: "Self-Assertiveness Course. Please Barge In".
Originally published November 19, 2005.
