One Liners and Quick Takes
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
Seen on barn in Hooper, Utah. "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again!" and "Is there life after death? Trespass here will find out."
At an ATM machine, the sign said "If you are blind, please use the Braille keys".
Free wood for sale.
On the I-5 North freeway in San Diego, the California Department of Transportation has kindly erected a sign for the nautically challenged: "Cruise Ships Use Airport Exit"
There used to be a sign I'd see while driving down New York Avenue in D.C., but the facility isn't there anymore; they must've moved.
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA SPAY/NEUTER CLINIC: Department of Human Services
In this building you can smoke every other day. Today you can't smoke.
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. Was it true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life? She was told that it was. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"
Originally published November 14, 2002.
