One-Liners for April 4th!
Published Jan 01, 1900
"Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing." Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade! Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. OK Sherlock, what's the speed of dark? Honk if you love peace and quiet. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
