Thought provoking one-liners which may lead to chuckles (or not)…

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Did you hear about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?
Originally published November 14, 2002.