Horseback Riding or Ride ‘Em Cowpoke
Senator John Kerry, being the rugged outdoorsman that he is, decides to try horseback riding even though he has had no lessons or prior experience. He mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Senator Kerry begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, Senator Kerry grabs for the horse's mane but cannot get a firm grip. He tries to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up his grip, he leaps away from the horse to try and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot has become entangled in the stirrup, and he is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head is struck against the ground again and again. As Senator Kerry’s head is battered against the ground, he is mere moments way from unconsciousness . . . it is at this point that . . . . the Wal-Mart manager runs over to shut off the horse.
Originally published August 11, 2004.
