- You know 2 or more people with "concrete proof" that the Pentagon is covering up: Roswell, the Kennedy assassination, the CIA's role in creating AIDS.
- You came of age in the '60s and don't remember.
- You've ever owned a VW bug or ridden in a Microbus.
- You own something that says Dukakis for President, and still display it.
- You believe it because "Dan Rather wouldn't lie about something this important".
- You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
- You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "is a victim of Draconian budget cuts."
- You've ever argued that with just 1 more year of welfare that person will turn it around and get off drugs.
- You think Lennon was a brilliant social commentator.
- You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
- You are outraged that Baseball Players make millions and the poor clerk at the unemployment office only makes 28 bucks an hour doing such good work.
- You believe that an elected official attending religious services is a violation of the separation of Church and state.
- You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
- You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
- You think that Al Gore macherena thing was a laugh riot.
- You feel that Green Peace is misunderstood.
- You keep your PC dictionary with you at all times so as not to offend.
- You think communism will catch on once society has evolved.
- You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so....".
- You've ever stated "How does what he does in his personal life have any bearing on doing his job?"
- You don't understand all the commotion about Whitewater, Vince Foster, selling US foreign policy for campaign contributions, it's just politics, right?
Originally published November 14, 2002.
