A Selection of Prayers
God, help me to consider people's feelings, even if most of them are hypersensitive and wrong.
God, help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even though they're usually not my fault.
God, help me to try not to run everything; but if You need some help, just ask.
Lord, help me to be more laid back and help me do it exactly right.
Lord, help me to stand up for my rights [if you don't mind my asking].
God, help me to take things more seriously, especially parties and dancing.
God, give me more patience, right now.
Lord, help me not to be a perfectionist [did I spell that correctly?].
God, help me to finish everything I sta
God, help me to keep my mind on one th - look, a bird - ing at a time.
God, help me to do only what I can and trust you for the rest.
v But it would help if you put that in writing.
Lord, keep me open to the ideas of others, wrong though they may be.
Lord, help me to be less independent, but let me do it my way.
Lord, help me to follow established procedures today; on second thought, I'll settle for a few minutes.
Lord, help me to slow down andnottorushthroughwhatIdo.
Lord, thanks for helping me not be a bigot like all those other people....
Lord, this one you really have to give me credit for: I did this all by myself!
God, I am happy to report that I did this great work all for you. I know you could not do it yourself.
Oh God, thank you for helping me love people of all colours and creeds,(so long as they are white and evangelical)
Oh God, I am sure you love me today as I have been so righteous and studied the bible for two whole hours and prayed for three hours nonstop and fasted for 24 hours.
O God, please please let me win this lottery: I promise to pay you 10 %. cross my heart and hope to die.
Dear God, help me get revenge on these people because they really have hurt me. By the way, thank you for forgiving me my sins.
Lord, I dedicate my life to you, so long you do not touch my bank account and do not mess about with my golf schedule, and my choice of church office secretary.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
