Children's Pastor Language Guide
by:Rodger Fields It has come to our attention that Children’s Pastors see the world a little differently than most others. This handy reference guide will help bridge the language gap that so often divides them from the rest of society. We recommend this guide be kept for ready reference at all staff and board meetings so as to help understand your children’s pastor and his/her perspective. “CHILDREN’S MINISTRY” “VBS” “PASTOR’S KID” “SALARY” “HELIUM TANK” “PUPPETS” “CURRICULUM” “SUMMERTIME” “EXODUS” “VEGGIE TALES” “VOLUNTEER” “KOOL AID” “CHOIR” “PRAYER REQUEST” “A GOOD CHURCH SERVICE” "NEW MEMBERS CLASS” “WORKERS MEETINGS” “CHURCH BULLETIN” “CHILDREN”
To Most People: The black hole of the church. Exact origin: unknown. Sucks people in never to be seen again in a worship service
To the Children’s Pastor: The highest calling in the world
To Most People: A week off for mom so having the kids home for the summer won’t be so traumatic
To the Children’s Pastor: Time of reaching lost kids for the Lord
To Most People: The offspring of our beloved minister of God
To the Children’s Pastor: a virus
To Most People: Living wage for services rendered
To the Children’s Pastor: A goal in life
To Most People: A good way to blow up balloons
To the Children’s Pastor: Office furniture
To Most People: Stuffed animals or people you can place over your hand
To the Children’s Pastor: Reliable workers
To Most People: Educational materials
To the Children’s Pastor: Survival kit
To Most People: Sunshine and lemonade
To the Children’s Pastor: VBS and camp
To Most People: Children of Israel leaving Egypt
To the Children’s Pastor: Workers leaving for the summer
To Most People: Videos about talking vegetables
To the Children’s Pastor: Best way on earth to survive when service goes long
To Most People: Unpaid people who work for fire department
To the Children’s Pastor: Best word to use for attracting kids and worst word to use for attracting adults
To Most People: Snack drink
To the Children’s Pastor: The fifth food group
To Most People: Adults in matching robes who sing in church
To the Children’s Pastor: Hideout for AWOL nursery workers
To Most People: Sick relatives
To the Children’s Pastor: Sick pets
To Most People: A good sermon with everyone out on time
To the Children’s Pastor: No injuries
To Most People: Way to become familiar with church doctrine
To the Children’s Pastor: Meat market for new workers
To Most People: Never heard of it
To the Children’s Pastor: Way to inform children’s workers
To Most People: A fan
To the Children’s Pastor: An airplane
To Most People: Church of tomorrow
To the Children’s Pastor: Church of today
Originally published November 14, 2002.
