Religious Jokes

DEVILITITUDES

Jan 01, 1900
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DEVILITITUDES
Know how our enemy works.
If the Devil were to write his Beatitudes, they would probably go something like this:

DEVILITITUDES

Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians in Church-they are my best workers.
Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked-- I can use them.
Blessed are the touchy, with a bit of luck they may stop going to church-- they are my missionaries.
Blessed are those who are very religious but get on everyone's nerves--they are mine forever.
Blessed are the troublemakers-- they shall be called my children.
Blessed are those who have no time to pray-- they are easy prey for me.
Blessed are the gossipers, for they are my secret agents.
Blessed are those critical of church leadership, for they shall inherit a place with me in my fate.
Blessed are the complainers-- I'm all ears for them.
Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people and not yourself-- I've got you.

Originally published November 14, 2002.

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