Golden Telephone
A New Yorker decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. For his first chapter he decided to write about famous American churches, so he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Portland, Maine, thinking that he would work his way across the country from east to west. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call." The New Yorker, intrigued, asked a pastor who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The pastor replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The New Yorker thanked the pastor and went along his way. Next stop was in Concord, New Hampshire. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Portland and he asked a nearby nun what it's purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. "O.K., thank you," said the New Yorker. He then traveled to Churches in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Maryland, and in every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it. Finally, the New Yorker arrived in Mt. Jackson, Virginia and again, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "25 cents per call." The New Yorker was surprised so he asked the clergyman about the sign. "Pastor, I've traveled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in all the other states the price per call was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?" The pastor smiled and answered, "You're in The Shenandoah Valley, son. It's a local call." Submitted by: Nanci B.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
