Noah's Instructions on the Ark
Alligators....stop nibbling on fellow passengers. Flies....quit pestering the horses. Elephants.....shovel up your own mess, it blocks the hallways. Pigeons....the lions are not statues. Mosquitoes and bats....quit biting the other passengers. Myna birds....stop repeating everything you hear. Cows....fly swatting is prohibited. Lightening bugs....remember lights out at 9 pm. Pigs.....clean up your room. Raccoons....stop your midnight raids. Hyenas....stop laughing at the other passengers. Lions....quit stalking everyone. Vultures....stop hovering. Bugs....stay out of the pantry. Snakes....pick up your own skins and throw them away. Ants....bring your own picnic lunch next time. Hoofed animals....please tiptoe after midnight. Camels....no spitting at the other passengers. Squirrels....quit hiding nuts in the bathtub drains. Night Owls....keep your hooting down, it keeps the Morning Doves awake. Turtles....your dinners are getting cold, start for the dining hall earlier. All passengers.... be careful what you say around the parrots if you don't want it repeated. Signed, Noah
Originally published November 14, 2002.
