You Know, Tony!
The guy sitting next to him says "I don't believe you - do you know me?" The first guy says "Sure Phil, we met two years ago at a convention - my name is Tony - remember?" The second guy says "Okay, I remember, but I still don't believe you know everyone"
v So he asks Tony if he knows the bartender. Tony and the bartender, of course, go way back. The bartender confirms this. Phil tries to think of someone Tony couldn't possibly know. So he says to Tony, "Do you know Bill Clinton?" Tony replies "Oh yeah, Bill and I went to school back at Oxford together." To prove it, he calls Bill Clinton on the President's private line. The two have a 20 minute conversation before hanging up.
Phil is now determined to come up with someone Tony would never be able to know. This time he says, "How about the Pope?" The only way to prove this is to go to the Vatican. Tony and Phil get on a plane and fly to the Vatican.
At the Vatican, Tony requests an audience with the Pope, and much to Phil's surprise, is immediately granted one. Tony goes inside, and a few minutes later appears on the balcony with the Pope. They seem like old friends. Looking out into the crowd, Tony sees Phil faint. He runs down to him and asks what happened. "Well," said Phil, "I could believe you knew the bartender. I could believe you knew Bill Clinton. But when I saw you and the Pope on the balcony and the guy next to me say 'Hey! Who's that guy up there with Tony?', that was too much."
Originally published November 14, 2002.
