Renegades' Latest Strike Leaves Men In Blue Pensive
For the second time in the last month, The Lobby Queens came into work today and were aghast to find all of their blue pens missing - that is with the exception of two blue pens which had since run out of ink. Inexplicably, the perpetrators of this horrific crime left behind a number of black, green, and red pens. A witness says that she saw someone or somethingleaving the office late last night. Though she did not get a good look at the likely culprit, she did catch a glimpse of the green creature rounding a corner, and she heard the jingling of what may have been a bell of some sort.
In addition to this eye witness account, police are looking into a suspcious cow-shaped UPS employee who recently delivered a package to the Crosswalk office complex. They are considering the possibility that this is the latest in a series of crimes committed by the much feared extraterrestial gang known as the "Renegade Alien Bovines." As to the group's preference for blue pens, police can only speculate.
A world-renowned criminologist who was brought in to assist with the investigation, and who prefers to remain unnamed, believes that the Bovines may find nourishment in the highly sought after blue ink. Police are considering this explanation, as well as the possibility that the Renegades are planning to use the azure liquid to power some otherworldy device of destruction.
Whatever their agenda, the Bovines continue to terrify people the world over. Police are asking the public for help in locating the very dangerous alien bovines before they can strike again. They are also seeking any additional theories regarding the Renegades' intentions for the stolen blue pens.
Until the case of the missing pens is solved, Police are suggesting that local residents take extra precautions to protect their blue pen supply.
Originally published June 17, 2004.
