Aviation Humor 102
Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.
There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a copilot who once was a captain.
Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next airline.
Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.
A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. It's worse.
It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.
A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.
Remember, you're always a student in an airplane.
Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.
You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold, pilots!
Things which do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you. Runway behind you. Fuel in the truck. Half a second ago. Approach plates in the car. The airspeed you don't have.
Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy, but not for one who still is.
Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all those trips.
Gravity never loses! The best you can hope for is a draw!
Originally published November 14, 2002.
