Breakfast

A resident in a very posh hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and said with a wonderful, cheerful smile, "Good Morning my good man. What a wonderful morning it is. For breakfast today I'd like two boiled eggs, one of them so under-cooked it's watery and runny, and the other so over-cooked it's tough and hard to eat. Also, grilled bacon that has been left out so it is a little on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter more or less straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, which is barely lukewarm."
"That's a complicated order sir," said the bewildered waiter. "I believe it might be quite difficult to come by."
The guest replied, "Oh? I don't understand how that could possibly be - that's exactly what I was given yesterday!"
Originally published August 07, 2004.