Helpful Hints for the Inexperienced American Traveler
Published Jan 01, 1900
Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a Caribbean cruise includes the phrase "Free Ammo" There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if you have experience in jungle warfare. Do not board a cruise ship if passengers are being issued oars. Legitimate travel agents do not dress in foreign military uniforms. In South America, say no to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami. Consider very carefully visiting a country where the license plate motto is "Die American Pig".
Originally published November 14, 2002.
