How Cold is It?
Well it's Summer. This is for those who would like some relief from the heat. How Cold is it? (a descriptive thermometer) at 60 degrees: at 50 degrees: at 40 degrees: at 35 degrees: at 32 degrees: at 30 degrees: at 25 degrees: at 20 degrees: at 15 degrees: at 10 degrees: at 5 degrees: at 0 degrees: at -10 degrees: at -15 degrees: at -25 degrees: at -30 degrees: at -40 degrees: at -50 degrees: at -80 degrees: at -85 degrees: at -90 degrees:
Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe.)
Miami residents turn on the heat.
You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming.
Italian cars don't start.
Water freezes.
You plan your vacation to Australia, Minnesotans put on T-shirts, politicians begin to worry about the homeless, British cars don't start.
Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitifully, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming.
You can hear your breath, politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further south.
French cars don't start, You plan a vacation in Mexico, your cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
Too cold to ski, You need jumper cables to get the car going.
You plan your vacation to Houston, American cars don't start.
Alaskans put on T-shirts, Too cold to skate.
German cars don't start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist.
Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
You plan a two-week hot bath, Swedish cars don't start.
Californians disappear from the face of the earth, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweaters, Your car helps you plan your trip south.
Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window.
Polar bears move south.
Wisconsinites wear sweaters to Packer games
Lawyers put their hands in their OWN pockets!!
Originally published November 14, 2002.
