If you are from Minnesota........

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Minnesota.

If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Minnesota.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", you might live in Minnesota.

If you think a basketball team consists of twelve white boys, you might live in Minnesota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Minnesota.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Minnesota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Minnesota.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Minnesota.

If you have apologized to a telemarketer, you might live in Minnesota.

If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk, you might live in Minnesota.

You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Minnesota.

If you have either a pet or a child named "Kirby", you might live in Minnesota.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Minnesota.

If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina and Shakopee, you might live in Minnesota.

You might live in Minnesota if you grew up thinking rice was only for dessert.

You might live in Minnesota if you think that ketchup is a little too spicy

You might live in Minnesota if every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "From the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm's the beer refreshing".

OFFICIAL MINNESOTA TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART

60 Above
New Jerseyites try to turn on the heat.
People in MN plant gardens

50 Above
Californians shiver uncontrollably
People in MN sunbathe

40 Above
Italian and English cars won't start
People in MN drive with the windows down

32 Above
Distilled water freezes
Lake Mille Lacs water gets thicker

20 Above
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in MN throw on a flannel shirt

15 Above
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat
People in MN have the last cookout before it gets too cold.

Zero
People in Miami all die
Minnesotans lick the flagpole

20 Below
Iowans fly away to Mexico
People in MN get out their winter coats

40 Below
Hollywood disintegrates
The Girl Scouts in MN are selling cookies door to door

60 Below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic
MN Boy Scouts postpone "winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough

80 Below
Mt. St. Helen's freezes
People in MN rent some videos

100 Below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Minnesotans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg

297 Below
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products
Cows in MN complain about farmers with cold hands

460 Below
All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin Scale)
People in MN start saying "cold nuff for ya?"

500 Below
Hell freezes over
The Minnesota Vikings win the Super Bowl