Misleading Hotel Statements
Here are some translations for all the misleading things hotels say. Old world charm ................ No bath Tropical ....................... Rainy Majestic setting ............... A long way from town Options galore ................. Nothing is included in the itinerary Secluded hideaway .............. Impossible to find or get to Pre-registered rooms ........... Already occupied Explore on your own ............ Pay for it yourself Knowledgeable trip hosts ....... They've flown in an airplane before No extra fees .................. No extras Nominal fee .................... Outrageous charge Standard ....................... Sub-standard Deluxe ......................... Standard Superior ....................... One free shower cap Cozy ........................... Small All the amenities .............. Two free shower caps Plush .......................... Top and bottom sheets Gentle breezes ................. Occasional Gale-force winds Light and airy ................. No air conditioning Picturesque .................... Theme park nearby Open bar ....................... Free ice cubes Concierge ...................... Stand with tourist brochures Continental breakfast .......... Free muffin
Originally published November 14, 2002.
