My Town Is So Tough
Published Jul 07, 2004
Hotels ask your name, address and next of kin when you register.
Our Ice Cream trucks plays "taps".
The gun shops have "Back to School" sales.
The High school newspaper has obituary columns.
Restaurants serve BROKEN leg of lamb.
Bowling center patrons only bowl overhand.
Schools require a sick note be co-signed by a parole officer.
Christmas pageants feature the three Wise Guys.
Advice columns have hints like how to get blood off of a chain saw.
Our 911 emergency calling services has a two-day waiting list.
Our "Honor students" practice saying, "Not any more, your honor".
Mothers give their kids $50 every day for the holdup man.
Forgery 101 and Advanced Counterfeiting are required subjects.
Originally published July 08, 2004.
